One Can Only
by SoldierPup
Summary: One-Shot. 'His face tensed and he gently placed the fork he held on his plate.' It was going to happen sooner or later, he was just hoping it was later. Ashley brings Shepard home to meet the family, ending in uneasy memories from Mindoir. He tried to buried Mindoir, but it just wont go away.


_**A/N: Let's pretend that this is after the whole Reaper War, with a surviving Shepard and Ashley Williams... It gets fluffy at the end, so hold on! Not related to Alone In The Dark... Just a one-shot I wrote when I was bored during a thunderstorm. Just trying to get my groove back. Reviews please, and thanks for reading!**_

"So, John, when will we get to meet your parents, a great guy like you your parents must be amazing." Mrs. Williams said with a smile. Ash's eyes went wide as she glanced at Shepard's profile. His face tensed and he gently placed the fork he held on his plate.

"Mom!" Ash yelled from her side of the table totally shocked, reaching a hand towards Shepard's. She knew she forgot to explain something to her mother!

"No Ash, it's fine. Better to tell them sooner rather than later." Shepard said with a sad smile, taking Ashley's hand and squeezing gently.

"What? Did I say something I shouldn't have?" Mrs. Williams asked cluelessly. Ashley's sisters put down their own eating utensils and listened.

"My parents are... deceased, as is my little sister." Shepard said sadly. He held together quite well and Ash couldn't seem to get past her admiration of him. She slowly locked her fingers with his tighter, feeling herself go through the pain with him.

"Oh my. I..." Ash's mother stuttered, but was given the gift of mercy as Shepard gave a sad smile.

"I lived on Mindoir until I was about sixteen." Then it clicked in Mrs. Williams head.

"That was the human colony that was raided by slavers! Oh my god," Lynn said amazed.

"Yes, it was." Shepard said, he felt himself want to run, to hide and not talk about the painful and traumatic experience. He didn't though, it took him a few moments but he remembered in great detail the day, the smells, the was getting lost in those memories. It all seemed so real, like he was back, forced to watch everyone die, get blasted by weapons he couldn't even describe. But Ashley's squeeze of his hand brought him back.

"I heard there were few survivors," Abby commented.

"I was one of the few, yeah." Shepard says nodding politely. "I'll spare you the details, those are mine to deal with, and now really isn't the time." Shepard says with a smile that Ash immediately saw through. He didn't like talking about it. that was obvious, "It killed my family, but if it didn't, I would've never joined the Alliance, or have taken shore leave on Elysium. I'd be a farmer on the colony." is Shepard added on in his head, I'd have never met Ash, Shepard takes a look to everyone, "Everything happens for a reason."

After everything was said, Shepard excused himself and stepped outside onto the small deck out back.. He just stared at the sky as Ashley watched from the kitchen window. She was angry that there was little she could do to help him. She sighed when he seemed to scream a silent scream to the clouds with his stare alone.

"I didn't know. Oh god, I feel terrible now." Ashley's mother whispered to Ash.

"You couldn't have known, mom," Ash shook her head, angry at herself "I should've said something. Damnit," Ashley cursed herself. Why didn't she think. What if he was upset, he'd never take her to meet his family, have a nice dinner, play stupid board games. She was hesitant, stepping towards the door, then stopping. She bit the inside of her cheek, turning to face her mother.

"I'll be back." Ashley said, opening the back door and closing it gently. She looked back through the kitchen window, waving her mother off as her mother nervously watched.

Ash watched as his tense body leaned over the railing. It was a peaceful night. A fresh coating a leaves were on the ground, autumn fast approaching. Ashley stepped close and gently bumped shoulder

"Hey," she said softly. "are you alright?"

"Yeah, just thinking." Shepard frowned, taking a sidelong glance at Ash.

"You're a terrible liar," Ashley breathed softly. "I know you. You're troubled." Ashley turned to face him. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

It was silent for several minutes, Shepard thought deeply over his options. What could he say. He always dealt with his past by himself. He didn't want help, or someone to rely on. It was a weakness to him. That all changed on the Normandy, however. He met his brothers and sisters and combat, and they became a second family to him. He met Ashley, who was much more than a friend.

"I buried Mindoir a long time ago, I let go as much as I could. Your mother didn't know, I didn't expect her to. It was the thoughts that came after." Shepard turned to face Ash finally. Taking her hands.

"I want to give you all I possibly can. You brought me home to see your family, but I can't do that. When we get married, have children, my family won't be there. I wanted to give our family, you, the perfect household, the perfect family. Perfection. I want to live happily ever after, but I don't know if i'm capable of that."

Ash was still a little dazed from when he said _when_ we get married, not_ if,_ _when we have children, never if. _Ashley thought to herself.

"Shepard... John," Ash corrected herself. "I don't even know what to say about that..." Ashley , smiled at Shepard, the perfect words coming to her. "One can be truly loss for words/Only when all everything has been voiced./One can only truly love/When one's concerns are finally said."

"Where'd that one come from?" Shepard smiled, feeling his spirits lifted. This was a poem he understood.

"I don't remember, it was unknown, only signed as '13."

"Mysterious," Shepard raised an eyebrow, then leaned in gently pressed his lips on Ashley's, deepening the kiss a few seconds later. Quickly however it was over and Shepard pulled back slowly, Ashley stared up with a smile.

"Thank you," Shepard whispered.

Ashley's arms slowly wrapped around Shepard in a easy embrace. Just to hold him tight, and for him to enjoy the touch. Saying 'you're welcome' with the hug.

"I love you," Shepard whispered to her. Ashley laughed, and gave him a smirk.

"You better..." she teased. "I love you, too." Ashley took his hand gently into hers and lead him inside and into the parlor where everyone was sitting.

"Hey, guys." Ashley says, smiling to everyone

"We were just watching some vids and were definitely not spying on you!" Sarah blurted. Ashley looked shocked, and Shepard just chuckled. Ashley blushed, taking a pillow from the couch and threw it toward her sister.

"Oh don't be such a buzz kill, Ash," Shepard said, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her down onto the couch with him.

"I have popcorn!" Abby said, coming into the room with two huge bowls. Ashley sat up just enough to snag a bowl for her and Shepard before Abby sat down with Lynn and Sarah.

"Where's mom?" Ash asked her sisters.

"Went to the mini-mart. Said she needed to get something." Lynn answered while throwing up a piece of popcorn and missing the catch. "Damn.. I was never good at that." she shakes her head with a laugh, causing everyone else to laugh, this time picking a handful of the snack up and placing them in her mouth.

Shepard took a few of the popcorn and ate them savoring the butter and salt that seemed to be dumped in the bowl with no care. He missed being able to relax like this. Especially with Ashley tangled with him, his feet rested on the coffee table comfortably. Ash was curled up on his lap, where a pillow rested with her head on it. She was stretched out on the couch, joking with her sisters. Shepard, gently ran his fingers through her hair that flowed out on the pillow.

"What're we watching?" Shepard asked.

"I was going to suggest Blasto," Sarah said, earning a glare from Abby and Lynn, she shrunk back and sighed. "But I was over-ruled, sadly."

"Those movies are terrible, why would you want to watch them?" Shepard asked smiling at the memory that came to mind. Ashley shifted with a smile on her face too, obviously recalling the same one.

"That's the thing, whenever Ash comes home on leave, the first night she's here we sit back and watch absolutely terrible vids or shows, then make fun of them after." Lynn explained.

"It's become a Williams tradition," Ash said from just below him.

"Good to know," Shepard said.

"Anyways, we're watching, a new horror flick, Blackwater. Apparently it's about an Asari that buys a house in a town called Blackwater that's haunted apparently. Of course it only rated a 1 out of 10 so it's great for tonight," Abby recalled.

"Great, a horror movie," Shepard said, obviously not too thrilled. He didn't like horrors, he's seen enough bad things, he didn't need a movie to make it any worse.

"Oh it's crap, nothing too scary," Ash said. "Don't worry, Skipper, I'll protect you." Ashley teased. Earning a light tug on her hair. She laughed and Shepard smiled. Suddenly he didn't feel so bad, in fact, he felt normal. Just watching a movie with his girlfriend and her sisters. He felt like a teenager at the given moment.

Ashley's mom came in halfway through the movie, said her goodnights and went into her bedroom. Well it was Ashley's old bedroom, since she was allowing Shepard and Ashley to have the master room.

When the credits rolled, Abby woke up. She somehow fell asleep in the terrible movie, and Sarah scoffed.

"I'm surprised." Sarah said.

"About what? It was terrible!" Shepard said smiling, going on with the obvious joke.

"I'm surprised it was even rated a one, that was awful!" Sarah giggled, shaking Lynn who was snoring really loudly, faking her sleep.

"I should get her to bed." Shepard said, glancing down at Ash, who at one point in the movie, rolled to face his stomach and clutched tightly to his hands.

Finagling his way to a standing position, Ash still on the couch undisturbed. He held his breath, not wanting to wake her. Bringing his arms under her legs and gently under her neck. He lifted her effortlessly up.

"Can I get some help?" he whispered to Sarah. Gesturing to Ashley's arms who hung limp at her side.

"Right!" Sarah gently picked her sister's hands up and laid them over her body.

"Thanks." Shepard said staring at Ashley's peaceful look. It was quite the sight, her face had a scar on above her eye, due to the tank exploding at the final charge. He thought, at first, that she was dead, and scrambled back quickly to her side. He gave a small squeeze of his arms at the memory. He sent up a thank you to whatever god answered his prayers that day, allowing her to live and Shepard coming out relatively unscathed.

Shepard finally broke himself away, and nodded to Sarah who stepped out of the way as Shepard strode by her. He slowed when he came to the stairs.

"G'night," he said softly, about to take his first step up when Sarah's voice answered back.

"You're great for her." Sarah said with a smile. "It seems you mellow each other out. She changed, and for the better, Shepard. Thank you." There was a pause as the seriousness was replaced with a joking atmosphere. "Now I better be an aunt, eventually. Not too soon you know, and give me a little warning will you?" Sarah winked at the last statement and Shepard chuckled.

The body in his arms moved, her arms wrapping around Shepard's body, pulling herself into a better position, though she was still zonked out and dead to the world.

He climbed the steps to the second floor, and went into the master bedroom of the house. The room was a bit smaller than his loft on the Normandy. It had pictures of the family, framed diplomas from all the Williams girls, even those really personal footprints from when they were born.

It was homey, and nice, Shepard smiled at a picture of Ashley, a brand new Alliance uniform on waving to the picture-taker. He glanced back down at Ash before gently placing her in the bed and throwing the covers on Ash, then jumping into bed on the other side.

He got settled in the bed, when Ashley's movement caused him to look towards her. Her back faced him but she looked over her shoulder and squinted her eyes in the dark. She rolled onto her other side, now facing Shepard, pulling him closer to her.

"You know what?" Ash asked.

"Mmm?" Shepard mumbled out, his eyes closing as he felt sleep start to wash over.

"Im going to kill my Sarah." she answered, snuggling close to Shepard. Shepard's arm went around her carefully. He gave a soft chuckle, before opening one eye at Ash.

"You heard, huh?"

"Mmhmmmm," Ashley purred. "Every damn word."


End file.
